MLK's Message Relevant to Survivors

Today is the 2014 observance of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s Birthday. And thinking about Dr. King today, I see the relevance of his message of nonviolence to the fight against domestic violence. (Do not misunderstand me. I am not saying that a victim of domestic violence should allow the abuser to brutally injure him or her without defending oneself. Personally I believe the best approach is to get to safety when under attack, and stay away from an abuser - regardless of how much you love that person, and how much the abuser claims to love you.) Remember 1 Corinthians 13:4 - 7 talks about how love is kind and slow to anger. So if that person is abusing you, is it really love?

Getting back to Dr. King. He preached about loving everyone, including those people who hate us. In the same way, domestic violence victims and survivors should also love those who have abused us. I always say that hurt people, hurt people. In my opinion, an individual who hurts the person he or she claims to love, must have a heart full of pain masked by malice and abuse. Abusers need to be loved - not hated. In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus preached, "You have heard that it was said,‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who perse- cute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have?" (Matthew 5:40-46)

That does not mean that a victim needs to stay in an abusive relationship because of the love felt towards the abuser. You can love some one from a safe distance. Only if the abuser makes the decision to change, has received the psychological and spiritual counseling necessary to heal, and time has allowed that person to demonstrate the positive changes made in his/her life, should any one ever consider slowly starting to have anything to do with that person.