Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Inspirational Video Moment: Never Give Up

Mondays are Inspirational Video Moment days at 
New Life Today Blog.  
Visit us every Monday to view the 
new Video of the Week.
Video Credit: ARAND Video Services

Friday, May 18, 2012

WHY SHOULD YOU DEAL WITH IT? 2 by Jimi Akingbade

Graphic Credit 
Good people do evil things when they have unresolved issues in their lives. David’s lust for women culminated in adultery. After the act, Bathsheba became pregnant. When we fail to deal with the issues in our lives, not only will they lead to sin, there will be consequences. Smoking resides in the life of the chain-smoker with the baggage of lung cancer. Sin never leaves us the same. 

When David discovered that Bathsheba was pregnant with his baby, he tried to pin it on Uriah her husband. He sent for Uriah while he (Uriah) was on the battle ground. David tried on two occasions-first with words then with alcohol, to persuade him to go home. He knew if could get Uriah to go home, he would have sexual relations with his wife. If the soldier could have sexual intimacy with his wife, Uriah would never know of their adulterous affair. Talk about wisdom. But there was a problem. Uriah, the faithful soldier would not go home to his wife. 

David knew he had to come up with a better solution if he didn’t want to be found out. He ordered for Uriah to be positioned where the war against the Ammonites was fiercest and abandoned. Uriah was killed. David’s sin was finally kept a secret. He started with adultery and ended up with murder. 

When a thought, an habit, etc. results in sin, we may try to cover our tracks. This will ultimately set us on the path of sin. We may lie just to try to escape the shame of our sin being discovered. The first step of tasting alcohol can breed an alcoholic. You can handle whatever has held you down.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Married to an Alcoholic: 7 Steps to Helping Them Get Sober

Are you married to an alcoholic? Is your husband/wife a different person when they drink? Are you tired of the Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde Behavior? Are you at your wits end, and just can’t take it anymore? What can you do?
Graphic Credit

1. Stop trying to get your husband/wife to stop drinking.

No matter how much you nag and complain at them to stop drinking, it is not going to do a bit of good. What will is taking care of you. I know, it sounds backwards, but when you’re emotionally stressed out, it will be more difficult to help your loved one. You have no verbal power over the alcoholic. What you do have control over is your actions. What you do and say to the alcoholic will have a direct affect on whether or not they will continue drinking or not.

2. Detach with love.

Be loving and supportive of the person you married, not the alcoholic. Don’t take any of the emotional garbage they dish out while drinking. Have you noticed how when your spouse drinks they start to berate you and want to start arguments? Don’t argue or fight back. Let them know you will not argue with them while they are drinking, period.

Above all, never allow the alcoholic to trespass against your spirit when they are playing one of their mind games. Walk away and close the door behind you. Go visit a friend, take a walk around the block, or put some ear plugs in your ears. Your mental health is what helps the alcoholic the most. This is what detaching with love is all about. Detaching yourself from the disease is what helps the alcoholic see that he needs help.

3. Set boundaries

Did you know that the person who takes the verbal abuse of an alcoholic is sometimes just as mentally and emotionally sick as the alcoholic? This is why it is absolutely necessary, especially for spouses of alcoholics, to set boundaries for themselves while the alcoholic is drinking.

Don’t allow their roller coaster emotions to affect you. At least do not let them see that they are affecting you. The alcoholic wants to get a reaction out of you, don’t give them that satisfaction. When they are drinking, treat them like a stranger. Remember, you love the person you married, but you do not love the disease. Don’t be nice to the disease but love the person. Do you understand?

4. Do not enable the alcoholic

Don’t help the alcoholic by enabling their addictive behavior. Don’t help them to bed. Don’t let them drive while drinking. Do not let them argue, fuss or fight with you while they are drinking. Do not talk to them, leave the house or room and shut and lock the door behind you. Do not buy them alcohol, even if they beg you to. Don’t let them drive! Don’t treat them any differently because they have a drinking problem. Don’t give them any special attention while they are drinking.

5. Be supportive when they are sober

When the alcoholic in your life is sober, give them extra special attention. Tell them how much you love them, but not the disease. Talk to them about your new boundaries when they are sober. Write them on the refrigerator so they can’t say they forgot. Basically let them know all the bad and awful things they do to you and the rest of the family while they are drinking. They need to know.

6. Go to Alanon

This is very important when you are living with an alcoholic. This is how you heal yourself from the abuses of the alcoholic. This is where you will meet friends who are going through the same things as you. You are not alone.

7. Pray everyday

Never relent in your silent appeals to God for your spouse’s sobriety. I cannot say enough how important it is to keep a well balanced mind, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually when living with an alcoholic. They can literally tear you apart. I encourage you to seek God for your comfort and encouragement during this difficult time in your life. God answers our incessant appeals for healing. He feels our suffering and pain. Please do not give up hope.


Angie Lewis writes on subjects such as love, sex, and intimacy between couples. Her marriage books center on the biblical foundations that God outlines for couples to follow for an exceptional marriage.

Angie writes numerous articles and e-books covering such issues as adultery, addictions, temptation, and forgiveness in marriage. Check out Angie’s website for additional information about her books and online marriage ministry. http://www.heavenministries.com

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Emotional Abuse Crushing A Woman's Heart by Bernice Lupo

Graphic Credit
Is there anyone out there who truly wants to know a woman’s heart? Oh, how deep it goes and how beautiful it is when discovered!

She waits for someone to come like Prince Charming in the story of Cinderella who saw the perfect jewel of who she was when everyone else around her had missed it. The questions of the feminine heart from the time she is tiny are those which innocently ask, “Am I beautiful? Would you fight for me?”

Too often the answers she finds are shallow and non-committal. The man she turns to is caught up in his own story. Unlike the Prince, he searches for the answers to his own questions in life expecting her to fit into his idea of who she should be for him. He thinks the source of his happiness should be this woman he has chosen.

He needs her. She fills the “gap” of emotional belonging that he craves. Out of his own insecurity and low self-image, he fears he is not able to hold her in the way he needs to so he bullies her. He is possessive and monopolizes her time and attention.

Unable to look within himself at his own lack of character because of his feelings of inadequacy or inferiority, he challenges her in all of her weak areas. She is vulnerable to criticism and to taking responsibility for the relationship because it is relationship that she has been designed to build. She becomes convinced that if she could only change, he would be happier.

But the hole within him is so large. It is too big for her to fill. And he is going to the wrong source for his answers. Unknown to either of them, no matter how she tries, she will never be enough for him.

The consequences are severe. Like rose petals in their prime discarded and ground by his heel into the dirt, her spirit is crushed.

To the outside world, her husband often appears charming, a hard worker, dedicated to his family. But his desperation to look that way is so highly important to him that he carefully prunes the image in public saving his deep-seated anger for those behind closed doors. His accusations are unreasonable and unfair always directing attention away from himself.

In her article “The Silent Killer of Christian Marriages”, Amy Wildman White says, “For anyone who works with abusive men, the most frustrating characteristic is their lack of insight. When interacting with this type of individual, one is often left feeling as if he or she has just gone in circles. Issues presented are minimized, denied, or turned around to make someone else responsible, or a host of other topics are brought in to sidetrack the conversation. The process of change is most often slow or nonexistent.”

She also says, “Although the behaviors in and of themselves are forms of abuse, it is the constant climate of destruction that leaves a woman believing she is trapped, with no confidence or hope that there is a way out. A woman in an emotionally abusive marriage does not believe she has any choices. She believes she carries the responsibility for the bad marriage and that if only she could change, her marriage would improve. No matter what she does differently, however, the marriage never gets better.” Piece by piece, moment by moment she is bombarded with the messages: “No, you are not beautiful. You can’t get anything right. Your dreams and desires and needs don’t matter. You are such a disappointment.” Many times over different variations of these words beat at a woman’s soul.

She dies inside, the messages confirmed: I am not valuable, I am worthless.
The words to Martina McBride’s song float through my mind:

“She loved him like he was
The last man on earth,
Gave him everything she ever had.
He'd break her spirit down,
Then come lovin' up on her
Give a little then take it back.

She'd tell him about her dreams,
He'd just shoot 'em down.
Lord, he loved to make her cry.
You're crazy for believin'
You'll ever leave the ground,
He said, ‘Only angels know how to fly.”

What hope is there for us, oh women, who are convinced there is no such thing as a Knight in Shining Armor? Listen to the words of the One who tells mere man how to love you. Please know that your desire to be loved in this way is not wrong, it is inherent! This love is what was intended for you all along.

My paraphrase:

“Give your life to bring out her beauty.
Discover the mystery of who she is, of what she dreams;
watch to see what inspires and impassions her
– and then make it happen.
Don’t let anything get in the way of her becoming all she is supposed to become.
Cherish her, support her, fight for her, challenge her, refine her.

By doing this, men, you are doing yourselves a favor,
for by loving a woman like this,
she will be your most tender, loyal, powerful counterpart for life!
How do I know this is what she needs?
I know because I made her.
I know her in depth as part of My own heart.
This is how I, her Eternal Lover,
actively devote Myself to her!”

Ephesians 5:25-30

Does God know a woman’s heart? If you can get past the age old thinking in these verses referring to the “rules” of marriage, you will see the amazing sparkling diamond. God knows EXACTLY how to love a woman. He is handing her over to man with specific instructions about HOW to love her while she lives here on earth away from Him.

Woman also has been given a roadmap to a man’s heart:

“Wives, trust your husband as though you are trusting Me.
Let him be your shelter.
He is the guardian of all that I have put within you and
I have entrusted him with My own strength, wisdom and ability
to draw out the deepest beauty within you.

He would die to rescue you without thought for himself
just as I would….and did.
Let him be who I made him to be.
Come beneath his wing.”

Ephesians 5:22-24
My paraphrase

These are the instructions given to us. But in a world sadly far from its original intent, this is too often not the reality.

Raise your eyes to the Big Picture. We live in enemy territory. God’s enemy, Satan, takes whatever God pronounced good and seeks with vengeance to destroy it. Past pain, disappointment, neglect and selfishness devastate a man’s heart as much as a woman’s. The result is a paralyzed inability to love as God planned it to be.

Graphic Credit

So where do we turn when the man in our lives physically or emotionally discards us? Here is the rest of the song “Broken Wing” by Martina McBride:

“And with a broken wing,
She still sings
She keeps an eye on the sky.
With a broken wing
She carries her dreams.
Man, you ought to see her fly!”

No matter what the circumstances in our lives, there are some “unchangeables” that we must cling to:

1. God is the One Who instructs a man how to love us because HE loves us like that! When we face a break in this human love, God is still there knowing how to love us and offering Himself as our Knight in Shining Armor. He has always been in love with us and falling in love with Him is easy once we know that.

2. God has built a dream into the very depth of our hearts. Just because we lose our way or find ourselves trampled down, that dream doesn’t change or go away. It’s always there and always will be. We need to fly even with a broken wing! We are gifted and talented and strong in many ways. Finding and pursuing OUR PURPOSE can absorb hurt like a sponge!

So many women walk around like the living dead. Their hearts are crushed and they are convinced of their own worthlessness. This is a waste of something so precious!

There are many that I have worked with over the past few years. Because of my own experiences with the Prince of the Universe, I have been able to discern their own uniqueness and value; it takes time but establishing these things is like watering a desert place! At first it sinks in and seems to have no effect because the ground is so dry. But as the lies are discarded and the truth of their strengths and amazing unique qualities begin to emerge, it is as if lush green plants and beautiful flowers begin to take over the wastelands.

A new light floods their whole beings and a new reason to live begins to motivate them. They hold the hand of their true Husband and they walk a new walk with a new confidence. Truly, they begin to fly!

Yes, sometimes it means taking strong action like leaving their husbands. Unfortunately, at times, this is the only way to catch the man’s attention. When faced with such measures, he will often begin to seek the help he needs and they begin to heal the broken places in their relationship.

And sometimes he will not have anything to do with restoration. Even so, it is not the end of life. It is a new season in which a woman can begin to truly experience her own freedom and individual healing. She learns to soar despite her wounds and finds her real identity in the eyes of the One with Whom she will spend all of eternity.

Never give up hope! Reach out for help and discernment no matter how badly you feel you are to blame for the problems in your relationship. Let God into your deepest heart. Allow Him to begin to love you as you need to be loved. He will give you wings and teach you how to fly!

Source:  http://www.faithwriters.com/article-details.php?id=32707

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Meaningless Striving by Brenda Emmons

Graphic Credit
“I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children…through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life…By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food…” Gen 3:17, 19. What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun? All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless. A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat and find enjoyment?” Eccl 2:22-25.

It all began when sin replaced perfection through free will. Because God could not tolerate sin, the fall of man put into motion a curse which we all live under. For women it is the pain of childbirth, and for men it is the burden of work until death brings them home. For me personally, I realize the heavy burden in considering the lives of my children. The physical births were easy in comparison with the mental and emotional toil motherhood has placed upon me over the years. I see the same burden in my husband as he toils and strives in a business to which God led him. We have both suffered many sleepless nights and so many of our efforts in both arenas have been meaningless. Once our dependency became more on God and less on ourselves, we were able to experience more peace and satisfaction in our souls, apart from all of our striving.

Graphic Credit
Ecclesiastes tells us that we will have these burdens all the days of our lives, but we can be encouraged that God is the giver of all things, and in Him we must lay down our heavy burdens. For each time we choose to lean on Him and give Him full access to our lives, He provides us with His peace, strength and satisfaction. Apart from seeking God, trusting Him, and surrendering our lives we will live under the heavy burdens of the original curses of mankind.

God never intended on us abiding in our own strength in our heavy burdens, but leaning into Him as the original Creator of all good and perfect things from Him. ‘Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.’ James 1:17.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Monday Inspirational Video Moment - What Does the Bible Say About Fear?

Mondays are Inspirational Video Moment days at 
New Life Today Blog.  
Visit us every Monday to view the 
new Video of the Week.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Book Review - How to Reach Your Full Potential for God: Never Settle for Less than His Best By Janet Morris Grimes

Book Review

How to Reach Your Full Potential for God:  Never Settle for Less than His Best
by Charles F. Stanley

Best selling author, Charles F. Stanley, has a knack for identifying areas of struggle for his readers. Through this particular book, he unleashes the power God intended for each of us, giving us permission to claim a better way of life for ourselves.

Stanley first identifies the traps that ensnare us, including low self-esteem, the fear of disappointment or failure, laziness, etc. It is important to recognize the chains that hold us back if we are to ever make changes that last forever.

Stanley goes on to reveal the steps God shared with him through a 3:00 a.m. encounter that changed his life. In order to reach their full potential, the reader must reconnect with his or her own gifts and God-given desires of the heart. He proclaims that the best is yet to come, an idea that seems foreign to many in this day and age.

I recommend this book for anyone whose dreams were long ago replaced with the expectations of others. If we are ever to accept God's challenges, we must get past ourselves enough to recognize that we are a part of His plan, rather than God being a small part of our own plan for our lives.

Janet Morris Grimes, the author The Parent's Guide to Uncluttering Your Home, released in 2011. She launched Abbandoned Ministries to lead others to seek God, as Abba, during  abandonment. For more information, visit

http://janetmorrisgrimes.com or http://abbandondoned.com.
Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com-CHRISTIAN WRITER-MAKE A WEBSITE