Inspirational Video Moment: Overcoming Loneliness, Alcohol and Drugsl!

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Married to an Alcoholic: 7 Steps to Helping Them Get Sober

Are you married to an alcoholic? Is your husband/wife a different person when they drink? Are you tired of the Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde Behavior? Are you at your wits end, and just can’t take it anymore? What can you do?

Graphic Credit

1. Stop trying to get your husband/wife to stop drinking.

No matter how much you nag and complain at them to stop drinking, it is not going to do a bit of good. What will is taking care of you. I know, it sounds backwards, but when you’re emotionally stressed out, it will be more difficult to help your loved one. You have no verbal power over the alcoholic. What you do have control over is your actions. What you do and say to the alcoholic will have a direct affect on whether or not they will continue drinking or not.

2. Detach with love.

Be loving and supportive of the person you married, not the alcoholic. Don’t take any of the emotional garbage they dish out while drinking. Have you noticed how when your spouse drinks they start to berate you and want to start arguments? Don’t argue or fight back. Let them know you will not argue with them while they are drinking, period.

Above all, never allow the alcoholic to trespass against your spirit when they are playing one of their mind games. Walk away and close the door behind you. Go visit a friend, take a walk around the block, or put some ear plugs in your ears. Your mental health is what helps the alcoholic the most. This is what detaching with love is all about. Detaching yourself from the disease is what helps the alcoholic see that he needs help.

3. Set boundaries

Did you know that the person who takes the verbal abuse of an alcoholic is sometimes just as mentally and emotionally sick as the alcoholic? This is why it is absolutely necessary, especially for spouses of alcoholics, to set boundaries for themselves while the alcoholic is drinking.

Don’t allow their roller coaster emotions to affect you. At least do not let them see that they are affecting you. The alcoholic wants to get a reaction out of you, don’t give them that satisfaction. When they are drinking, treat them like a stranger. Remember, you love the person you married, but you do not love the disease. Don’t be nice to the disease but love the person. Do you understand?

4. Do not enable the alcoholic

Don’t help the alcoholic by enabling their addictive behavior. Don’t help them to bed. Don’t let them drive while drinking. Do not let them argue, fuss or fight with you while they are drinking. Do not talk to them, leave the house or room and shut and lock the door behind you. Do not buy them alcohol, even if they beg you to. Don’t let them drive! Don’t treat them any differently because they have a drinking problem. Don’t give them any special attention while they are drinking.

5. Be supportive when they are sober

When the alcoholic in your life is sober, give them extra special attention. Tell them how much you love them, but not the disease. Talk to them about your new boundaries when they are sober. Write them on the refrigerator so they can’t say they forgot. Basically let them know all the bad and awful things they do to you and the rest of the family while they are drinking. They need to know.

6. Go to Alanon

This is very important when you are living with an alcoholic. This is how you heal yourself from the abuses of the alcoholic. This is where you will meet friends who are going through the same things as you. You are not alone.

7. Pray everyday

Never relent in your silent appeals to God for your spouse’s sobriety. I cannot say enough how important it is to keep a well balanced mind, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually when living with an alcoholic. They can literally tear you apart. I encourage you to seek God for your comfort and encouragement during this difficult time in your life. God answers our incessant appeals for healing. He feels our suffering and pain. Please do not give up hope.

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Angie Lewis writes on subjects such as love, sex, and intimacy between couples. Her marriage books center on the biblical foundations that God outlines for couples to follow for an exceptional marriage.

Angie writes numerous articles and e-books covering such issues as adultery, addictions, temptation, and forgiveness in marriage. Check out Angie’s website for additional information about her books and online marriage ministry. http://www.heavenministries.com

Gonna Make A Change by Edwin Tillis

Editor's Note: The following essay was recently written by a Christian who is graduating from a residential drug residential treatment program based on the 12-step process.  It is hoped that this essay will inspire and motivate others looking to overcome an addiction to drugs and alcohol.

I write this for myself, as well as my loved ones, who have been subjected to my using, and have loved me enough to suffer along with me for years until GOD has relieved me of the obsession to use drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes.

Not too long ago I heard a man say that his drug of choice was not worth the ink to even write to and I totally agree with him. So I write this to you LORD, to my family, love ones and to myself.

For more years than I care to remember, my drug use and the lifestyle that goes along with it, has taken so many things away from me that are irreplaceable. When I speak of these things it is not the tangible items, such as cars, money, clothes, or household goods. No, I speak of wasted time, energy, relationships gone bad, and repossessed Blessings that were from GOD!

Today, with GOD’S Direction, Grace, Mercy, and Second chance’s, He has brought me from destruction to reconstruction. Today He is revealing His purpose for my life. And for this I praise you FATHER.

The things that were lost - tangible and non-tangible, I have faith that The GOD that I serve today shall replace and restore them in HIS time and according to his purpose!

Today I realize that I am not cured and all I have is a daily reprieve contingent on the daily maintenance of my spiritual condition and conditioning. Every day is a day that I must carry the vision of GOD’S will into all my activities and interactions with others.

The choices that we make in life determine our destiny. So today I choose hope instead of dope. And life instead of death. I choose relationships instead of isolation. And I choose to live life on life’s terms.

1 Corinthians 10:13

Overcoming Addiction through God's Strength! by Michelle Goodwine

In 2009, Whitney Houston's comeback from a bad marriage and drug addiction was underway. With the release of her CD and the single "I Didn't Know My Own Strength", it was hoped that Whitney had once again returned to her thrown as the Queen of Pop.  Unfortunately, in the meantime, her road to recovery, like many others with addiction problems, was paved with many potholes.  And on Saturday, February 11, Whitney came to the end of her road.

What is truly sad about Whitney's fall from grace is that she was a believer who lost her way. While it is too late for Whitney to start a New Life Today, perhaps her life can serve as a lesson to us all.  

Below are some Bible verses that will hopefully help other Christians who are trying to Start a New Life free from drugs and alcohol:

Lesson #1: Our Strength Comes from God

Isaiah 40:28-30 (NIV)

²⁸ Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God,  the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary,   and his understanding no one can fathom.
²⁹ He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  

³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;  

³¹ but those who hope in the LORD    will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles;  they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Lesson #2: Your Body is a Temple

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV)

¹⁹ Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;
²⁰ you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

Lesson #3: Don't Get Drunk

Ephesians 5:18 (NIV)

¹⁸ Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit,  
¹⁹ speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord,
²⁰ always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Lesson #4: We are Not of this World

Romans 12:1-3 (NIV)

¹ Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.  
² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

For those Christians struggling to overcome a drug and/or alcohol addiction, remember Philippians 4:13 (KJV):   ^"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."   With the Lord's help, we accomplish anything.  Unfortunately, it appears that Whitney forgot this.  It appears that instead of looking up, should looked inward.  And I am certain that she, like other addicts who have lost their way have found, overcoming addiction requires more than self-control. To overcome addiction, one must rely on God's strength.

(Photo: Reuters/Ygal Levi)

Whitney Houston emerges from the waters of the River Jordan during a Holy Land pilgrimage, May 29, 2003.