When I woke up this morning, the word "deliverance" came to mind. I thank God for delivering me from a very violent, abusive relationship. I thank God for delivering me from a life of chaos. I thank God for saving my wretched soul from sin. Thank you, God, for deliverance.
As I look back over my life, some days I shiver from realizing how many times God kept me from death. What I am about to share with you is to not to sensationalize my life, it is just to demonstrate how good God is. It is to show to all, especially those of us who have been too afraid to leave an abusive relationship, that God is able to deliver you. I will share this brief testimony today to give God all the glory and honor He so rightly deserves:
The New Year of 2006 had just come in. It was about 5 am on January 1, 2006, and I was riding with my husband in an old white Chevy Blazer I bought him. We were going home from a birthday party a mutual friend had invited us to. My parents, out daughter, and us, had all gone to this friends birthday party. And at first, my husband and I were having a great time. In fact, I would have to say that the night has started out as the best night we had in our short 5 months of marriage. We were have fun dancing and joking with friends and family. I was looking forward to leaving 2005 behind, to enter into what I prayed would be a brighter future.
But, before I knew it, my husband's mood changed from festive to evil. He was mad at me for leaving the party to take my parents home. The plan was for us to got to the party for a little while and leave there to take my parents to church for services. Even though he and I eventually returned to the party, where he could continue his drinking, he became extremely angry and verbally abusive to me. He tried his best to insult and embarrass me- even openly flirting with the women at the party. I tried my best to remain as calm as possible on the outside. Inside I was afraid of what he would do to me. And I had a right to be afraid.
On our way home, he drove erratically. Speeding through the city streets, in the heavy snow fall, our SUV started to swerve. Although my husband was an experienced driver who had driven trucks and taxi cabs for years, the roads were treacherous - anything could happen. Although I knew I shouldn't let him drive drunk, I knew if I protested the situation might escalate. So while he was driving like a maniac, while cursing me out and putting me down, I prayed. I prayed that God would protect me. I prayed that I would be able to see my daughter again. I prayed that some how, some way, I would make it home save. And I also prayed for forgivenness of my sins. I prayed that if I did die that night I would make it to heaven.
I am glad to report that I eventually did make it home, although not necessarily safely. Before arriving home, my husband almost ran off the road. He even kicked me out of the car in the snow. I did not know what he was going out to do. Since the road was quiet and no one was around, all I could think to do was to call my brother-in-law to tell him what was going on. I did not want to die on that road without anyone knowing what happened to me. Luckily, my brother-in-law picked up the phone, and I told him what was happening.
I believed that phone call saved my life. God delivered me. God saved me from imminent doom., once again.
Looking back over my life, I realized that God gave many opportunities to escape the abuse. And, unfortunately, it took me many more years to leave him for good.
If you are in an abusive relationship, and God has given you an opportunity to escape, take it. If you are a survivor of an abusive relationship, remember today to thank God for deliverance.